


Sefte

by Not_You



Series: A Love Of Soft Living [1]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Anal Sex, Body Image, Body Worship, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Fat Character, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Trust, internalized fat-shaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-29 21:34:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15082187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_You/pseuds/Not_You
Summary: So apparently Kojima originally envisioned Otacon as a chunky nerd rather than a spindly one, and in honor of that vision, here we are: The One Where Otacon Is Fat And Snake Loves It.





	Sefte

**Author's Note:**

> Sefte (Old English) - "gentle, mild-natured; easeful, comfortable, calm, undisturbed; luxurious"

Otacon really hadn’t been sure what to make of the way Snake just kept _watching_ him, in the beginning. It was definitely surreptitious, and it was only not scary because he actually seemed embarrassed whenever Otacon caught him. Julie had always just met his eyes and smiled, and he had been very careful not to think about that, even if Snake was also gorgeous and doing anything with him would be a terrible idea and Otacon had reminded himself again and again that that probably wasn’t even the kind of look this was. Snake and Meryl had broken up a while ago, but Meryl is Meryl, and Otacon is, well, himself. He had thought that even if Snake did like men, they weren’t men like him.

He had tried not to do the self-loathing gaze into the mirror thing, but sometimes, when Snake was sleeping at night like some kind of adult and Otacon had been watching anime until three a.m., he hadn’t been able to help it. Even back then, Otacon had had to admit to himself that the whole situation could be worse, it’s at least fairly evenly spread and he doesn’t need any special equipment to wash, but he’s still pretty fat. Seeing his dick without a mirror is possible, but takes effort, and his limbs are thick and smooth. He had hated his chest a lot more then, along with the softness under his chin and the rolls on his back. He had also hated his fat ass and the way it had stayed wedged in a computer chair while Snake ran all the risks. 

These days he’s trying to keep a more balanced view of his body and his contributions to Philanthropy. It doesn’t always work, but he has come a long way already. Even at maximum self-loathing Otacon doesn’t like to think of himself as ungrateful, but he hadn’t been able to help asking why, the first time their secret handshake had turned into Snake kissing him breathless.

“What, I can’t just like you?” Snake had said, but he’s not an idiot, and he had known what Otacon meant, that going from Meryl to a chunky otaku had seemed like one hell of a letdown, and he had chewed on his kiss-swollen lower lip in a really distracting way and then finally muttered, “I haven’t had much soft in my life, okay?”

One thing Otacon had noticed early on is that Snake never uses ‘soft’ as an insult. He never says it like it’s a bad thing, and standing there with the guy in his arms, Otacon had realized that what Snake really wants is a world where softness doesn’t have to be a liability.

That night Otacon had stopped Snake at second base, just letting him know that his first sexual experiences were Not Good and that he really doesn’t want to talk about it. And they haven’t talked about it, but it has been months and Otacon is probably as easy in this thing as he’s gonna get. He’s still a little self-conscious, even though Snake watches rapt every time Otacon gets his clothes off. 

In his few, furtive attempts at encounters between his disastrous beginning and being with Snake, Otacon had kept as much on as possible, but here he is, in a fully-lit room, flinging his shirt aside and unzipping his jeans to reveal the pair of Voltron boxer-briefs that Snake has admitted, (through gritted teeth, his face bright red) that he kind of has a thing for. 

It feels way more normal than he ever would have thought something like this could, even if ‘normal’ is totally the wrong word for Snake’s gaze. His eyes are almost goddamn glowing, and the second Otacon steps out of his jeans Snake is there, those huge, callused hands sliding along the sides of his belly and then down to grip his ass. Snake hauls him in tight, nuzzling into his neck and letting out the sweetest, most contented sigh. He presses as much of himself against Otacon as he can, shivering and making a happy little noise that Otacon doesn’t have a name for.

Facing facts, Otacon has to admit to himself that he has tits. This terrible truth is substantially eased by how much Snake loves them. And how good it feels to have them squeezed and sucked and kissed. Snake just buries his face in Otacon’s chest, moaning softly, little scrapes of teeth and stubble making Otacon jump and whine. He doesn’t worry anymore about the way his nails dig into Snake’s back when he clings to him. Snake likes it, shivering and letting out a low, happy rumble that’s more of a feeling than a sound. He kneads Otacon’s ass and ruts against him, and the lack of finesse makes him moan. 

Snake is just so _hungry_ for him, always so desperate to touch as much of him as he can, rough and greedy but somehow sweet, too. Like now, when he pulls back enough to look into Otacon’s eyes, checking in. Otacon smiles and kisses him, bringing a low, purring sound up from Snake’s throat.

“Come on,” Otacon murmurs, tugging at the hem of Snake’s shirt, “I’m sick of being the only one naked.”

“Skivvies isn’t naked,” Snake grumbles, and Otacon just laughs at him.

“Stained with precome is worse than naked,” Otacon says, and helps Snake haul the shirt off over his head.

“Worse,” Snake asks, “or better?”

“Depends on who you ask, I guess.” He nibbles along the edge of Snake’s jaw, and feels the usual weird little thrill of power at being able to make someone this strong shudder. 

Otacon slides his hands around Snake’s waistband, taking a moment to grip his ass with both hands before shifting to the front again, tenderly easing Snake out of his pants. Snake makes a grateful little noise at the way Otacon keeps his hand between Snake’s cock and all the possible abrasive edges of his clothing. Snake is a lot more sensitive than Otacon would have expected, back when he was guiltily jerking off to the idea of anything like this. 

Snake steps out of his pants like he’s irritated with them for even existing, and crowds Otacon back toward the edge of the bed, a warm wall of muscle. Otacon lets Snake push him down onto his back and cover him in stubbly kisses, those deadly hands all over him, squeezing and stroking his chest and the curves of his belly and his hips. Otacon has had people contemptuously grab a handful before, but even at his roughest, Snake never feels like that. It’s just more of that same hunger. He kisses Otacon like he wants to climb inside him, all tongue and teeth and bruising force.

“You’re just so fucking cute,” Snake growls into Otacon’s mouth, and he almost sounds angry about it. All Otacon can offer is a vaguely apologetic noise as Snake slides down to bite onto the waistband of Otacon’s boxers, hauling them down just far enough to get his mouth onto Otacon’s cock. 

Another thing Otacon wouldn’t have expected is that Snake sucks cock like he needs it to live, but by now he’s well aware and just melts under it, hands buried in Snake’s hair as he takes Otacon into his mouth with a muffled groan. While Snake has yet to admit to having a praise kink, he always whimpers a little when Otacon strokes his hair and the edges of his ears and tells him how fucking good this is, the vibration making him shudder and gasp.

“All right if I get you off and then fuck you?” Snake mumbles around Otacon’s tip.

“Fine by me,” Otacon gasps, and then cries out quietly as Snake swallows him to the base, callused fingertips stroking the spots where Otacon’s boxers cut into his thighs, slipping under the fabric to feel how soft he is. 

Otacon is mostly past being embarrassed about this, but the little curl of it that’s still there in his gut only makes everything better. He knots his hands into Snake’s hair as the tension ratchets higher and higher and Snake swallows around him like breathing is for other people. Otacon comes in breathless silence, bucking and shuddering under Snake, who holds him down with all that strength and takes every drop Otacon gives him, his contented moan making Otacon whimper.

Snake has more stamina in basically every possible situation, so while he’s flushed and shaking, he’ll probably still last a while. Otacon just sprawls there, catching his breath as Snake eases his boxers the rest of the way off so Otacon can actually spread his legs properly. He does, stretching out, and then can’t help a pleased little noise as Snake covers the marks on his thighs in kisses, whining softly as he presses his face to the inside of the left one, nuzzling into one of the softest parts of Otacon’s body, prickly stubble making him squirm.

Otacon hasn’t even started to get hard again when Snake lubes his fingers and stretches out beside him, rubbing gentle circles on his hole, but he doesn’t mind. He feels loose and warm and Snake’s forefinger goes in easily. He has big hands, but soon he has his first two fingers buried in Otacon up to the knuckle.

“Like doing it like this,” he mutters into the side of Otacon’s neck, and Otacon shivers. 

He used to feel lazy about just lying here, melted, but Snake had pointed out that he likes to make it last, and that after sucking Otacon off he’s too worked up to tolerate a lot of touching, anyway. Now Otacon just purrs and cuddles in against Snake’s chest, panting softly as Snake stretches him open, always so careful. Otacon rocks his hips and moans quietly, blindly biting Snake’s chest before latching on to one nipple and making him whimper. The sound goes straight to his cock, making it twitch to half hardness.

“Fffuck, can I--?” Snake breathes, cutting himself off with a quiet groan when Otacon bites him again.

“Yes,” Otacon murmurs, and then Snake is scrambling to roll on a condom, cursing quietly as Otacon does his best not to laugh. 

A few seconds of eternity later, Snake is on him, lining up against Otacon’s hole and slowly, slowly pressing in. There’s always that breathless moment when it feels like nothing is going to fit, and then Snake is sliding into him until he’s as deep as he can get, panting harshly in Otacon’s ear as Otacon groans and melts under him.

“You feel so fucking good,” Snake growls, like it’s an even bigger sin than being cute. Otacon just grins at him and then kisses him, moaning into Snake’s mouth as he slowly starts to move. Every time it is just so fucking good, the way Snake fills him and covers him.

Snake writhes against Otacon even as he finds the perfect angle and grinds it relentlessly, luxuriating in every micron of skin on skin contact. He presses every possible part of himself against Otacon’s softness, all warm and hard, and groans helplessly into the crook of his neck, rocking both of them. 

When Otacon’s nails dig into Snake’s back again he moans, and there’s something so fragile about the way he hides his face in Otacon’s shoulder, trying and failing to keep back another whimper. Otacon loves these soft, needy sounds, and nibbles on Snake’s ear, coaxing more out of him. He shifts his grip from Snake’s back to his ass, pulling him in and whispering breathless praise into his ear. It makes his light flush deepen, and he whines quietly.

Even though this is the second round of the evening for Otacon, Snake manages to drive him over the edge about half a minute before he follows, clinging desperately to Otacon as he shakes and bucks and finally subsides, a big sated weight pressing Otacon into the mattress.

“All right?” Otacon asks sweetly, and Snake chuckles.

“Yeah,” he mutters, and kisses Otacon’s neck before rolling off of him to peel off the condom. He pitches it into the trash and then lights up a smoke without even wiping his hands because he’s gross.

“You’re gross,” Otacon tells him, and he just chuckles. 

Snake does reach over and open the window to blow his noxious smoke out of it, and that’s a nice concession to being less gross, which is really all Otacon can ask for at this point. He snuggles in against Snake’s side, wrapping an arm and a leg over him and dozing for a while. 

It’s too warm for covers until both of them have cooled down, and Otacon isn’t even thinking about it when Snake says, “You used to be so shy. I’m glad you’re not anymore.”

Otacon sighs, doing his best to cuddle even closer. “I… remember how I said my first time was… really bad?”

“Yeah,” Snake says, and he sounds like he’s sorry he brought it up. Otacon kisses his neck, because it’s the closest part of him.

“Well, uh, after starting this with you,” he says, “I realized something.”

“Yeah?” Snake taps his ash into the empty soup can he’s currently using for the purpose.

“You remember what I told you,” Otacon says, and Snake nods. Otacon presses even closer to Snake and does his best not to think beyond the initial thing with Julie, not the complete personal apocalypse it caused. He may never be ready to tell Snake all of that, but now it’s surprisingly easy to say, “Since nobody over eighteen was supposed to be fucking me those first times, it always had to be furtive, mostly clothed.”

“I was afraid of that,” Snake mutters, wrapping his arm around Otacon. He doesn’t sound horrified or shattered, just sad to be right, and there are no words for how much Otacon appreciates that right now. He shivers, nuzzling his face into Snake’s neck, where it’s easier to speak than he was expecting. 

“After I was legal, I gave it a few more tries, but I was always worried about what I looked--” he interrupts himself with a derisive little laugh, and then goes on, “What I still look like, so I kept as much on as I could, or turned the lights off, like nobody could tell that I’m fucking fat by touching me in the first place.”

“You feel fucking _fantastic_ ,” Snake growls, his palm pressing possessively where it rests on Otacon’s side.

Otacon chuckles, a happier sound this time, and stretches his neck to kiss Snake’s cheek. “Anyway, I think keeping my clothes on was reminding me. I could never relax.” Snake stubs out his cigarette and hugs him, nuzzling into his hair. “I needed to be with someone I could trust. Like I am now.” Otacon says, very quietly, and Snake gives him a gross, smoky, heartfelt kiss. Otacon sighs into it, and neither of them says anything else for a long time.


End file.
